Let me ask you all something. And I want an honest answer; How long did your last Creative Block last? A week? A month? Maybe two months?

...Try one year.

Thats right. One whole fucking year. 365 days of not being able to create, imagine or invision anything of merit. It is one of the most crushing and depressing things you could ever experience.

Sadly enough, after completing my Diploma of Graphic Design last year, 2009 was set to be a year of not only accomplishing aspirations, but also going into creative overload! Alas, verging on the twelth month of the year, and not ONE thing. I often wonder how it's even possible to set out to do so much yet accomplish so little! And when you've got a brain that's most powerful asset is Creativity, what happens when that's no longer working?

Here's the short 'To Do' list of things I wanted to do this year:
Join a gym and get into better shape
Get work or work-experience in a Design studio
More photography, even professional shoots
Join an upcoming Metal band to play Bass and/or vocals
Move out of home
Make some decent money and live a little!
... and with the exception of the first point, none have happened.

I'ev seen so many people around me living lives they certainly don't deserve, and it's disheartening to keep on trying but getting nowhere. This year I'ev picked up some additional work at a Uni cafe, and I feel like I'm constantly looked-down on by those who are out to better their lives... little do they know that my current fate is what awaits many of them in the future. Im not just talking a Creatively shit year, I'm talking a shit year in general! 365 days of being stomped in the face!

One thing that constantly drove me to do better over the years was the harsh words of an Ex-girlfriend from many years ago, who's last words to me were; "I will always win, and I will always be better than you!"...but after so many knockbacks, it's sometimes hard not to just become a synical and defeatist bastard who'll lay down and accept mediocrity.

...But that wont happen. As the great Jamie Jasta of Hatebreed once stated:
Born to bleed
Fighting to succeed
Built to endure what the world throws at me

So, the Porabola didn't reach it's intended hights this year. Just give me time to clear my head and get back on track, clean the slate and start again.

Hopefully then my mindstate will be back to it's creative best!